*** The post you are about to read may be ***
*** confusingly personal and explicit. ***
Longing for weed (1-10): 7
Longing for porn (1-10): 7
This is going to be the post of sniveling.
Yesterday relapsed, today clean. It is a bad day, I'm very anxious, unrestful, annoyed and actually raging today.
I was thinking about my mother in law who judges me and is convinced that I'm going to rape her grandchildren later (if we get married and get children) because of my sexaddiction (no, I'm not a sexaddict, I'm pornaddict. Different symptoms, methods to heal, reasons behind.), that I'm manipulating, that there is nothing real in me etc. It makes me hate the whole world, ignorant people who believe to know eveything.
I was at my work, cleaning the house, washing the dishes, Biking 13 km (about 9 miles), I was actually busy with good things. But I still feel like shit.
And I have headache. I just go to bed.
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