1th Day Clean 18+

*** The post you are about to read may be ***

*** confusingly personal and explicit. ***

From today I will try to make a summary of my progress every day.

My goal is to quit weed and porn using. I had often attempted to stop wit both but I never could keep it up longer than 3 weeks. But I still have to say: without those clean days and weeks I would not know how stopping with these things can benefit my life.

Today is my first clean (weed- and pornfree) day. The last two weeks I was using daily, stucked in de vicious circle of “never more from tomorrow”.

From today I’m at my girlfriend’s for the coming days. It is also the reason that tt was not a very day with regard to my addctions, I did not have the feeling of craving although it came to my head to buy a joint, before I came to my girlfriend (she does not exactly know how often I use and what that exactly contains and I was lying a lot about it in the past as an addict does).

My first clean day was not really an issue. What I’m afraid of is wednesday, then I go home. I never have problems with craving if I’m with others but at the moment that I can isolate myself in my room, the feeling of being safe is gone and I can not think about anything except smoking and masturbating.

My brain is not really working, I feel very unsharp. It takes a lot of energy to organise my thoughts. So I just finish for today.

Sleep well folks!